The One Who Said Them.

You probably know and figured out that I’m a huge advocate of waking up early and hitting the sands of the beach.  This week I was asked why?  Answer … I like to consider the mornings “my time”

“Why?” They asked.

It’s the pep talk that the sand brings

Before anyone else speaks to me, tells me what they think about me or what they need from me, God talks.

He tells me He loves me. He tells me what I’m worth it. He says I’m beautiful and brilliant and that I can change and make a difference in my world.

 Over and over throughout my soul.

 Every morn, those are the first things I hear.

And I’ve grown to believe them. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

Honestly because my worth doesn’t come from those things.

My worth and value comes from the One who said them.

A Manger For Me

Courtesy of Flickr

Three incredible services had just finished at New Life and I slipped into my car exhausted and still battling an enormous migraine that had hit on that Friday. As I was driving and thinking, a rare moment alone in the car….trying to sort through the difference in my head between what was true and what was simply a un-truths of my often over-active emotions. I was stuck in a dark place where the idea of the hope and joy of Christmas seemed to be an illusion at best. I had the radio droning on Christmas music in the background and the second verse to this carol caught me off guard in particular.

How silently, how silently, the wondrous gift is giv’n!
So God imparts to human hearts the blessings of His heav’n.
No ear may hear His coming, but in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive Him still,
The dear Christ enters in.

Just as my pastor had  preached incredibly all weekend; in that moment alone in my car, the truth of Christmas and the hope of all believers seemed to connect for me like never before.

There was a real day when a real baby was born in a real stable from a real woman. And He was a real human and a real King who came to bring real life.

So I celebrate the day He was born to die so that I might have life. Not just life forever with Him, but life on this real day, in my car, in the midst of my hurried and somewhat chaotic life…He offers me the choice of death or life, conflict or peace, hope or despair. Without Christmas, there would be no choice…defeat would be my only opportunity.

What a stunning thing to celebrate the birth of a King who offers so much, who is so much…to remember that from that little town that wasn’t even big enough to be incorporated among the clans of Judah would come One who is called Peace.

As I continued to drive down the freeway, it began to seem as though she was singing about me and not a little town called Bethlehem. Small, insignificant… yet among the sometimes dark streets shines His everlasting light. He chooses to be born in me, to reside in the swaddling in the hay covered manger of my heart so that LIFE, HOPE, and an everlasting PEACE are made available to me in immeasurable ways.

That Can’t Be Pulled Out Of A Cabinet

Ever find yourself longing you could eat a really big lunch and then not have to make dinner? Better yet, let’s make our huge breakfast be the only meal we have to eat all day. I do that sometimes, when it’s just me. I’ve yet to convince my kids what a good plan it is. 

Don’t get me wrong. I really do like to eat. And I like to cook, too. I just don’t like to HAVE to eat. Or cook. It would be so much better if, on those days when we are exhausted and unenthusiastic, we could just eat once and have it last until eternity. But we can’t. That’s just not how it works. 

Sometimes I think the same way about time with the Lord. I wish on an exhausting, no-good day, I could pull out a 2 hour bible study I had back in ‘83. Like a quiet-time filing cabinet that was stocked before I got married and had kids.

But that is me trying to be all into lists as if time with the Lord were equivalent to cutting the squash and roasting the chicken (as if I ever roast a chicken). 

In my head, I used to be really great. That is, before I had my three kids and even better before I got married. I was patient, sweet, organized and virtually perfect in every way. I remember being so disheartened those first few months of marriage. Who is this crazy, emotional, needy woman and what did she do with patient, engaging, amazing me?

And I was sure my new husband was thinking the same thing. Until I realized there was really never such a thing as patient, engaging me and I had certainly never been amazing. At least not in the overboard standards that I thought. It’s just now that I was married; there was someone always there to reflect the reality of my lack… 

Too kindly remind me of my need for a Savior without saying a word.  

No more hiding.

No more faking it. 

And so, after 20 or so years of life under my belt, time with the Lord is looking different now than it used to. I think it is messy, desperate, engaging, sweet,  frustrating. And sometimes it is dry, quiet, and non-existent.  

It is more real than it used to be. 

 He is more real than He used to be. 

And that can’t be pulled out of a cabinet.

I Desire

 

I

 desire and long to voice and express myself more openly.

Sometimes the timing is so right, and sometimes the timing is completely off.

Some things that come out of my mouth were expressed in integrity, but some things were said without any thought.

Some things are said out of faith, out of fear, out of insecurity, out of sadness, out of excitement, out of joy, out of love, out of question! 

All things that come out of my mouth stems from something or from someplace that is very deep within my soul. 

Right now, I know that I am entering into deeper waters. 

Someone told me that as you go deeper in God, the deeper part of your emotions start to flow out so naturally.

It flows so naturally that it comes out at random times, which probably explains the random emotions and tears.

 God is touching a deep place in my heart and it is awesome and weird at the very same time to see God do something to me.

It is very hard to accept being vulnerable, but God delights in our weaknesses.

 It is all in the journey with God.

We have to go through healthy bumps in the road to understand that we just need to keep on pressing in and not to lose the passion for His kingdom. 

But I Really Needed To Hear It….

This weekend I was standing at our church café kind of mingling in the crowd and a woman approached me and I shook her hand and introduced myself.  All of the sudden she was wrapping her arms around me and knew my name.  “My friend is so and so and she told me to come and talk to you.” I am going to tell you honestly here.  Sunday mornings are so busy and rushed for me, so I was listening and but my head was rushed wishing a fast forward button would happen to the end of the story.

But I really needed to hear it

As her hand rested on my shoulder and her eyes were captivated into mine, all of the sudden she got to the punch line and my heart wept all over the floor of the café.

My café acquaintance was saying that God shouldn’t have come to rescue her and she doesn’t deserve it. Her wrongs have put her in this fortress in this place of heartbreak, and God has every right to leave her there. She has done nothing to receive His heroism; in fact she has done nothing but crucified Him.

But isn’t that what describes a hero? A hero doesn’t pick favorites he shows up for anyone in need. He just knows how to rescue.  Rescue personnel don’t run in to burning homes or run after purse snatchers because the people are worthy of to be saved. They just do it because they are heroes. Because it is part of their job rescue everyone every time.

And isn’t that just like my amazing Jesus? He is the definitive hero. He IS the heart of the hero. I saw a bumper sticker at a wrecking yard that said “All gave some, but some gave all”. Honestly, shouldn’t it be “All give some, but ONE gave all”? There isn’t one hero on Earth gave what Jesus gave. No one has saved me like Jesus has saved me. And no one rescues my heart on a daily and continual basis except my Jesus.

I prayed this morning as I walked along the beach and her beautiful waves that Jesus would be her hero. That He would come and rescue her, not because she worthy of it….she is incredibly worthy … but just because she is stuck in her life fortress with a no way out. That she would not even have to call Him, He would just come… because He LOVES her, because He LOVES to rescue. Because He is our Hero.

Is anyone crying for help? God is listening,
   ready to rescue you.

 18 If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;
   if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.

 Psalm 34:17-18 (msg)