The Bottom Line

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 I love Stacy London of What Not to Wear.  Don’t you?  On the Oprah Winfrey show months agos maybe even a year ago. she had some fashion tips on the show to help answer that most prevalent of questions asked daily by millions of American women: “Does this outfit make my butt look big?”

As one who has never been able to purchase the right pair of pants. I awaited Oprah’s assistance on the edge of my seat.

I watched  Stacy London  demonstrate the disappearing-derrierre tricks on several women. My favorite is called “Bisecting the Butt.” This is not a surgical procedure but a slight-of-wardrobe technique wherein one’s jacket hangs just halfway down one’s rear, thereby producing an illusion of less.

Forget about covering up the whole plate of buns with really long sweaters, ladies. It merely emphasizes what lies beneath.

I also found useful the whole discussion of a slightly lowered rise in your pants waist, combined with legs which are boot cut rather than tapered, which she claims produces a trimmer effect.

What fascinated me far more than any of this, however was how each makeover candidate began: “I have always been bothered by my large butt.”

Each of these women looked to me like really normal, attractive ladies of average shape and size. It occurred to me that if most American women obsess about the size of our derrieres (or other parts), perhaps our inadequacies have more to do with perception than reality.

Oh, I do realize that our fast-food culture has delivered super-sized buns with a side of thighs. I recall all the warnings about chocolate, “If you’re going to eat that !!A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.”

I do frequently remind myself that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and in that connection I recognize that the back side of the sanctuary could use some renovations via crunches, leg lifts or whatever moves me especially in my early walks.

In my ongoing struggle against the world, the flesh and the super tacos at Plaza Tacos, taming of the tush is often difficult.

I do know all that.

Still, I felt curiously reassured as I reflected on my Creator’s formation of me and all my counterparts.

 We are fearfully and wonderfully (and very, very intentionally) made.

Pulling up around the curves merely indicates we are in the presence of magnificent mountainous scenery. People pay a lot of money to live among Colorado’s breathtaking views, as opposed to down in Kansas where the land is as flat as a supermodel’s tummy.

And that’s another thing. King Solomon praised his lover’s abdomen and described it as a “heap” or “mound” of wheat, “encircled by lilies.” Heaps and mounds are not skinny! And I’m fairly certain “lilies” are just a poetic way of describing stretch marks.

Read Song of Songs 2:10-13 and all of Chapter 4. Be assured He looks at you with AT LEAST this great an intensity of love and adoration. And He longs for ours in return. 

Let’s stop looking in the rear view mirror at our shortcomings let’s say nicely, shall we?

Oh, feel free to bisect your butt, buy boot cut legs instead of tapered, and practice other tricks of the trade. I know I will.

Never forget  that  YOU and I are beautifully and wonderfully created. 

That’s the bottom line.

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