Giving Into Trust
Wow, it’s hard to trust God with people we care about. Really cherish and love. How do we make sense of lives when by all appearances, it looks like God has been absent from the word ‘Go’? Lives where trial after trial occurs…or even those where the story is success after success and the person feels they have no need for a Savior when they are doing just fine?
I have several relationships that involve my life that trust issues have become tangible. In one situation in particular and most recently, I’ve been on my knees to try to restore this relationship. This is not any relationship. I begged and pleaded with God to give me one more chance to restore this situation. Well, the relationship didn’t change miraculously, I was again feeling as I left abandoned, hurt, and angry. I left with tears streaming down my face and utterly confused
Why would God allow me to spin my wheels of restoration and trust, when nothing happened but the norm.?
The question here is really is, Will I give it back toGod? Trust Him…
The relationship that I have clasped so tightly to my chest, “my precious, it’s mine…. sometimes that’s what happens though…what we hold onto so tightly, in our grubby filthy hands, it becomes an idol….fully filling our vision.
I need to do some deep soul searching this morning as I sit here on my couch and give this back to God again.
I need to trust God…and not let the fear and anxiety cloud my vision and paralyze me as I look at what I want.
Would I be satisfied in God, if this relationship was never restored?
Can I trust God even if he never gives me what I most desire?
Can I not be angry? Will I stamp my feet and cry…and demand what I want. Will I hold onto the gravel of my own thoughts and dreams or give them to God for His purpose, His restoration, His Love.
Or will I take what he has promised me, like Abraham and Sarah with Hagar- and force what He has promised….which actually isn’t obedience to trust. Wow…that’s scary. I can force in my heart what I believe God has promised me and try to make things happen. …and dictate how and through whom it must happen. An Ishmael will come out of it…
Sometimes God wants us to wrestle with Him until we get an answer….and sometimes we have to wrestle with ourselves….maybe we think we have to wrestle with God and than we look and see it was ourselves that we wrestled with all along. I’m done wrestlin.
I truly have to let go of this relationship in a sense so God can take over and let go of any expectations or preconceptions. Let go of everything….it’s a struggle isn’t it? But we don’t have do it alone.
Posted on March 5, 2008, in christian lives, faith, Life, religion, Uncategorized, Value. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.
I find it difficult to draw the line between what God wants me to handle on my own and what he wants me to turn over to him. So many times I beat that dead horse until I am blue in the face so I can keep controlling the situation. Life is so much easier if we just give it up and let him lead the way.
You are right we don’t have to do it alone. He is always with us as well as people who love us. It is hard to release the reins and sit back though. It is also hard to let it go and not give in to your desire to explain it and explain it to the person. If they haven’t gotten it yet chances are they aren’t going to. I always pray that I will get to see the person restored and then maybe the relationship. But to me the most important thing is God restoring them and me not letting them seperate me from God’s love. Great post. I just want to jump on a plane and come say hi and give you a hug. You really touch me with you heart and openess. Thanks
As Rick Warren once wrote, ‘we give ourselves as living sacrifices; living sacrifices have a tendancy to walk off the altar from time to time.’ The important thing is in getting back on. We give it to Him; we take it back, but then we give it again. Each time takes less time to give it back.
I don’t think God wants us to handle anything on our own, He wants us to look to him for every situation. Trust is a very intense subject for me, as I have been laying my Isaac down for what seems like forever, and pleading HIM to make some changes. Some times I think what HE wants is for me tohave the faith of Abraham and walk this thing out, and just trust HIM that HE will do all that HE has said HE would do, and that the desires of my heart will happen maybe not where i can see them, but I have to believe, and Just let him have the reigns and let him drive.
Love you Princess, and praying for you. Sometimes when God says no, it is just because HE has a better plan, and we see it, we wonder why we were so ready to settle for skittles when there is a huge dinner waiting for us!!
Wrestling with self and the expectations I create…I’ve been there. Thank God I’ve also been in the “free-to-release” place as well. Hold fast, dear.