God made my life complete when I placed all my pieces before Him, When I got my act together, He gave me a fresh start, now I am alert to God’s ways; I don’t take God for granted. Every day I review the ways He works, I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I’m watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to His eyes.
Psalm 18:17 (The Message Translation)
So often we try to put our lives back together ourselves, whatever happened to us, maybe it be some kind of abuse, maybe it be rejection, maybe it be loss of a loved one, or what have you.
I know I am so guilty of leaving God out of the picture, so when I read this over my life giving coffee at Ryan Bros., I was wowed. Very recently, I have started placing all my pieces before Him, and I have seen Him begin a work in my life that has been nothing but supernatural.
”God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.”
At times, even at the age of 43, I diligently try to keep my book of my heart to myself, not let anyone see it, including God, even though I know He can see right through the cover. Like a young girl hides her heart in a leather-bound diary, I hide my book. Never wanting anyone to open it or to see it because you never know what they will think or say. Yet secretly the book is getting heavier and heavier. Its pages are being scribbled on by other people, and me, well, my book is being written for me. My book really is only opened every once in a while, and only if I really trust you. Yet still it is hidden from the one that cares about me the most, God.
Maybe it’s because I’m ashamed of what lies on those pages? I remember having a conversation with someone close to me once, that I couldn’t get rid of something I was struggling with because it had become such a part of who I was that I didn’t know what life would be like without it. I sat there, in the parking lot, and kept saying, but I can’t give it up. The person kept asking why. Finally, my eyes fell to the ground as I said, I’m scared to move on from it, I don’t know how to free myself from it because it’s mine, and it’s been a part of me for years. It’s a large part of the definition of Heidi. And that person said, why don’t you give it to God? And I remember thinking, it’s mine, I can’t.
My point is this, the pages of the book, like any book, are meant to be read. They are meant to tell a story, and they are meant to be seen by the one that cares about you the most. So why do we lock them up on the book shelf and say definitely not, that is my book and I refuse to share it. I honestly can say, for me, that it’s fear of change, fear of the unknown, and fear of failure. But I have noticed that when I show God chapters, or even pages, or paragraphs from my book, He tames the fear, and fills me with a new heart and a new perspective.
A new revelation and more possibilities
Ironic it is, because for the longest time I hated it when people read my writing. I still don’t really like to hear it read out loud… But I have grown comfortable with this because I am willing to take a chance in people hating my writing for it to maybe touch someone else’s life.
So I encourage you, to open the book. Maybe that is something as simple as letting people read your writing, or maybe you need to show God some pages of the book and share your pen so He can help write the next chapter. And maybe by letting Him use the pen, you will feel renewed and put back-together.
A supernatural novel will be written
2 Comments
November 6, 2009 at 1:37 pm
i need to open the book of my heart to His eyes more often and more vulnerably than i do… shoooo. so hard for me. but i know it’ll be worth it.
thank you friend.
November 6, 2009 at 7:42 pm
i still cant believe you have difficulty with people reading your writings. you write so beautifully!