Barrage

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I’ve been thinking about the expression since my daughter Colleen’s conversation last night.  ”Friendly fire” It expression of course describes a position in which a military group inadvertently causes harm to its own forces. This nature of loss seems especially tragic because it’s unnecessary and makes triumph even harder to attain. When I see it in the news, I shake my head and wonder, “How could that have happen?”

 Yet as battles rage within me or maybe someone whom I care about, we often take on in friendly fire as well.

One morning recently my coworker Joyce invited me to pray for her over a warm cup of tea. She shared some frustrations of the past month that she been facing; fighting with kid’s sicknesses, going through some challenges at the office, and dealing with some personal issues in her life. I became real reflective since my own life started having the same similarity too at times.

I blurted and said, “We are called to be warriors.” Tears came to both of our eyes in unison and she said, “I know but right now I’m just tired. I don’t feel like fighting anymore.” I gently placed my hands on hers across the table and began to pray.  

As I whispered the prayer I sensed the Lord speaking and causing a hushing to my heart, “I am for you. When you come in opposition to yourself, you side with the adversary.” I knew instantly what those words meant.

 When I don’t personally feel good or get discouraged, I begin an inner bombardment against myself. I launch lies like, “You’re not good enough. You’re letting everyone down. You’re a frustration to God.” Each word wounds my heart extra until I feel utterly overpowered.

After that cup of tea I went to my favorite part of the bible.  I have read these verses over and over again since high school.  At the end of the chapter of Romans 8 four important questions are asked:

If God is for us, who can be against us?

Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen?

Who is he that condemns?

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

These rhetorical questions come with the answer “no one.” But I’ve realized my answer to those questions is often “me.”

God has defeated our enemies, given us this incredible victory, and made us more than conquerors. But because of my free will, we can still choose to be against ourselves.

When we do so, we fight on the enemy’s side—whether we realize it or not.

We may never fight a military battle or face persecution, but we are still warriors in the battle for the guarding of our hearts and minds.

The word Conquer “implies mastery of” and while I may be my toughest opponent, God isn’t giving up on me.

 He isn’t giving up on you either

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