I dream a lot…

The fact is I dream a lot.
I dream stories out in my head.  ALL the time.

The realness of me is not always necessarily all draped inside a pretty box with an amazing bow.

An example.  

While traveling in the car with a load of people, unexpectedly besieged with those so familiar dark feelings; the ones that preoccupy me and tell me that I am nothing.  I know exactly where they come from.  Even though I know truth, I struggle in the fight. 

This particular reflection was about my future.

The courage within arose for the battle. More than I could imagine. I said it repetitively in my head.  More than I could imagine.  More than I could imagine.  That is what you have said to me.  More than I could imagine.

Still feeling the sting, I must have tried to fight harder because softly I spoke the words aloud.  More than I could imagine.  The whispered words became loud enough for my friend to hear and without need of explanation, she grabbed my hand and simply spoke– more than you can imagine.  With tears overwhelming me, I looked up to her face.

  At that specific moment, I noticed an amazing billboard.  This billboard is one I had not noticed before.  In faded black lettering that shared the store’s tagline—

 More than you can imagine

I was speechless.  God had just made this moment so clear.  Believe.  Believe!

…. Believe me.

I keep getting this picture in my head.  It is a dandelion.  I guess in some ways it represents all that I am trying to hold together.  In my grip to hold it together I am stuck.  The holding was never my place to be.  The releasing is so hard but so stunning.  After all, the beauty of the dandelion is in watching all seeds dance in the wind.

So today, I will put my mind to rest. I will not cling to the stories or scenes I imagine.  I will let them dance in the wind.  I will wait eagerly for the images that are my reality.  I will open my eyes to see the work of the more than I could imagine as it unfolds.  The expectation is more than romantic…. it’s a symphony.