Hey to all my friends……..   

Happy 4^th of July

Well my 4^th started off with a trip to the emergency room.  My 15 year old Elijah ( THE picture above is about 3 months old and yes his hair is very long still)

 decided to go head over the handlebars and fractured his forearm. 

Thankfully the ER got us in quick and out quick..  When we left it was officially the 4^th for us by a minute.  Ha!!

So on our way home I questioned my son, especially because the do-do brain was NOT wearing a helmet how all this happen.

I guess he was headed to a girls house with 3 CDS in his pocket and Knight and Shining armor that he is protected them at no cost.  His bike fell into water drainage curb and he flipped over the handlebars, remembering he had the CDS he went right towards the gutter.

 If he had gone left?  Yes grass,… but alas,  broken CD’S!! 

That just couldn’t happen.. not for my son!

puppy love strikes………….

                                                                                                    BOYS!!!

 This was My morning journey………….. 

Some of my closest family and friends were prayed for here over a warm cup of coffee

I worked what a drag… not really I LOVE my job because I ate lunch looking at this.

(isn’t San Diego beautiful?)

From my thinking tree  ………..

Here I sat and thought ALOT…………..and  alot………………….

Before I went back to estimating this……

…… I treasure my Selah moments

Ever had those moments when you just really felt like everything was going wrong, times when life just seems to be spinning out of control?  

Perchance it is a Dr’s call and says “let’s run more tests” or a family member is ill. Maybe it’s the unending stress of a job or just the stress of the checkbook overdrawn once more.

 “…and yet God, You’re still sovereign, Your throne intact and eternal.”

No matter how difficult life may get, God is still sovereign and His throne is still intact and eternal. We can trust Him with our health concerns. We can rest in His sufficiency, knowing that no matter how hard the storm rages, His Anchor holds.

When our lives seem to be endless spinning out of control, hang on, my friend, because God, the Creator and Sustainer of this universe, is still in complete control.  

You know I have had a broken toilet seat for months…. I mean months.. 

It had this crack.. you know what I mean.  Every time you sit you feel the toilet seat screaming “ mama easy does it”

Here’s another quirk Miss Tam and Hope. 

When I ask someone(MY SON) to do something and it’s not done by a certain timetable I get very irritated and do it myself!!!

So I waited ..  waited… clocks is ticking… waited.. humph… waited… tapping my foot… waited…

Okay this toilet seat is NOT going to hold me anymore and you know it will be me for the bum wash as I fall in.

So It cannot be bad… 2 screws and a toilet seat..

     Did you guys know that there are nuts/washers under the screws?

  (I  did NOT know this for 20 minutes of endless unscrewing.)         

Then it was

                                                  Ta Da!!!!

                                    We have a New Toilet seat !!

The words are simple. “Empty jar to prime pump. Drink your fill.” The directions conclude with the warning to refill the jar and leave everything as they found it.

The enticement is obvious – ignore the instructions. After all, they are holding life-giving water in their hand. Never mind how bad it might taste. What if the well is dry? What if the pump is broken? They may even try working the handle up and down … listening to see if maybe they can hear the swoosh of water being sucked up by the pump. And of course, they can’t.

They can chance it and drink what’s in the jar. True, it isn’t much. There’s no telling how long the water’s been there. Chances are it isn’t fresh and guaranteed it is anything but cool. They know it’s wet, but then again, they wonder if it’s enough. Will they be lucky enough to stumble across another source of water nearby?

But it’s physical and tangible … they can see it.

 On the other hand, they know in their heart that it won’t be enough. Yet, they realize they are trusting that the water will prime the pump so that it works properly and that there is still water in the well. Ultimately, it comes down to whether or not they believe in the one who wrote the note and either accept it as truth or reject it.

Faith is a lot like priming the pump. God has left us instructions in his Word. And He’s provided us with a source of living water. Certainly we can choose to discard both and instead choose something that looks like it will provide all we need.

The question is, are you willing to take the risk. Regardless of what living water can provide, are you willing to risk not even knowing?

Of course, there are times when we not only get to the end of our rope, we actually are hanging by a thread. Suddenly, the Truth seems to be the only thing we have. Sometimes God works that way. Yet, I believe our loving Father would much rather see us learning the Truth in a less desperate way.

And like the scene from an old western, we too have a choice. We can trust what we can see, feel, and touch – the tangible things of this world.

Or we can trust the words of Truth.

 The question is, will the water in that jar give life or just an illusion?

I overheard my friends discussing housework and guests.  They were talking about having guests and being a guest and how different people keep their homes. Not being a huge fan of housework, my ears perked up to hear unguarded responses.

 I am always  that person who before you arrived, had just spent 8 hours scrubbing, tidying, rearranging and making sure that every cupboard and room was spotless. For my whole life I had this idea that if people could see the “real” me that they would run screaming from the room. This was completely logical in that I didn’t like me most of the time and if I could have I would have left too!

 “Real” me I mean the not put together, bumbling, lost person that I frequently feel like. It was this “real” person who became like a skeleton in my closet I was desperate to keep hidden. I was certain that the bad things in my life outweighed the good.

And so began the construction. Walls went up around my heart to protect it from pain, mazes leading to my feelings meant that people gave up long before they reached the core, and of course the all important smoke screen, distract and evade. Dress nicely, smile, and act as if everything is fine. It works. People stay far away. They know when they are not wanted.

But then there were circumstances in my life that couldn’t be avoided, and that stone wall, that façade began to crumble. There were days that I didn’t know what I was going to do. I felt like the Wizard of Oz desperately holding onto the fantasy “Pay no attention to the (wo) man behind the curtain”.  

I was certain that my life as I knew it was over. That’s when people found out that I wasn’t always the girl that was “pulled together”, well adjusted person that they knew, that I would be alone; At least before, there were lots of people around me, even if they didn’t KNOW the real me.

As the dust settled and I stood feeling completely exposed to the world. My shame right there for all to see, my failures and my insecurities laid bare. To my amazement, as I opened my eyes, I realized that I had not been abandoned; in fact, people I didn’t even know were standing, arms wide open, waiting, and smiling. They were smiling because finally I realized what they all already knew.

In blogging, my blog is my true home.

I began the slow process of authenticity, of finding opportunities to be real. Opportunities to share my thoughts, disappointments and weaknesses. Much to my surprise, instead of keeping people away, authenticity has drawn people toward me. 

 In being real, people are real with me, and I love it. I am so overwhelmed when people share their challenges, because I know how hard it is to be vulnerable.  

I love it when a friendship moves to the place of realness..

At the end of lunch my friend Marcy said something so profound, it struck me and I have thought of it often. She said that when he goes to someone’s home and it is messy-like how every home is during the day when we are living there! –

 she said that is when she knows that someone is truly a friend because they are not worried about what she thinks, they just are who they are!!

 How amazing is that!!?? 

It stopped me in my tracks. I chewed on this idea for a long time.

Is your blog your home or just a rental?

I was able to pray in our 24 hours of prayer.  As I laid across the altar in the wee morning hours weeping for His GLORY to be seen and manifested at New Life. I had looked up between my tears at our stage lights and saw this most beautiful and penetrating color, God gave me these words to describe that moment.

I believe that God has equipped us with brains and creativity for a reason, and that when we use our multi and somewhat different gifts in PARTNERSHIP with God’s direction that we will ALWAYS find the path to His will.I have often had to take a step without “feeling” God’s presence but always with the conviction of His directing love and purpose- and MOST importantly, with those open ears to discern if something is not where God wants me to go.

I used to think that I was getting lucky with some of my choices and for all the rest that it was up to God to “redeem” them for His good purpose….. you know that scripture

“ALL things work together for the good of those who love the Lord”.

 I always kind of figured that God was getting quite the workout with me running all over the place making decisions that He was going to have to figure out how to “work out for good”, but I see with some perspective that distance- and age- bring that God was there all along.This idea of leaving space for God in between the decision and the action….. it really jives with what I believe about the Character of God and His desire to see us grow and mature, but to always allow His input.

It is nice to know that the further along I am in my walk, the more I realize I am on the right track!

I will never forget in kindergarten, our whole semester was centered around a little trip to the second floor of that school. We lined up, two by two, and walked through the hall and up the stairs. Then, Mrs. Flegal told us to be very quiet and go to the window. There, on the window sill outside, was a perfect nest with a Robin sitting quietly upon it. She turned her head, saw us all there, and flew off.

 I will never forget my surprise when I saw those four beautiful blue eggs sitting in that nest! We went often up those stairs to check on the Robin and her eggs.

Then one day, we saw the ugly little babies. And then, soon after, they were all gone except one.

He was standing on the side of his nest, chirping franticly, fluttering his wings. We could all see Momma Robin in the tree a little ways away calling for her baby to come to her.

I’ve been on a soul-expanding journey of self-growth for a few weeks; learning things about myself that have moved me to my very core and caused me to flood my iced coffee with tears. Ordinarily I don’t share anything very private here on this blog, but I feel compelled to tell you about a life-altering discovery I’ve made, because, by sharing it, I may help you recognize something similar within yourself. And that is this:

No matter what amount of time I enter into the microwave keypad, I never let the microwave do its thing for the full time allotted. I will always, without fail, press STOP before the microwave has a chance to stop on its own.

This is but one of the many discoveries I’ve made during my self-imposed hiatus from the ordinary course of my life .  I would reveal more of them, but I do not want to overload you in one sitting. Digest this, and then I’ll feed you.